Injured Runner's Lament

I've been gone a while and I must apologize.

To say that these past few months have been tough would be an understatement.  Of all of the loss I've experienced this year - the loss of running is proving to be the toughest.

I was really jazzed after my physical therapist appointment on the 18th (OMG, has it REALLY been that long ago?).  I was able to run on the treadmill for 3 miles with absolutely no discomfort or pain.  Feeling confident and armed with specific instructions about not running any hills, taking walking breaks, etc.  I felt really comfortable attempting to build a little time outside.  This proved to be a big mistake.  I ended up re-injuring my ITB and creating pain as bad as the original injury.  That was on the 22nd and I've been off it ever since.  That's it.  No exercise.  I have been so depressed, I haven't even been able to get up for the gym and the thought of a treadmill literally makes me feel sick.  I had no traditional Christmas morning run this year and almost certainly will not run on New Years Day either.  Every time I run, I re-injure myself.  I think it's time to stop deluding myself.

This Friday will mark 60 days since my original injury.  Virtually all of my aerobic fitness is gone.  While I can still get out there and jog, or do a half hour on the eliptical...it's not easy like it was.  I will basically have to train myself back into fitness from scratch once...(if) I ever heal.

OK, sorry, now I am even depressing myself.  Can it get any worse?  Yes!  I have come down with a terrible cold and my head feels like it is exploding!  

The internal dialogue continues: If I was running, this wouldn't have happened.  When I am running, I NEVER get sick.  When I am running, I feel great and energized all the time, when I am running I....STOP!  This is doing me no good at all.

My sister, in from Colorado, regales me with stories of her ultra fit, ultra marathoner neighbor who injured herself and was never able to run again.  Jennifer looks at me, recognizing the stricken look on my face.  "I guess I really shouldn't be telling you this, huh?"  The folks in the Med Tent online tell me that sometimes it happens that you wake up one morning and the ITB thing is simply gone.  Like a sojourner at Lourdes, I keep praying for this miracle and at night I have running dreams...yes, really.

So this is all a long, roundabout way of saying that I feel badly about not logging in to Traxee for so many days, but I think emotionally I just couldn't take it.  What I found though is that I missed it so much, I just had to come back and try again.  Running is definitely not out of my life, it's just taking an unintended holiday.  For me, there is really not much more that I can do but wait.

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