A Woman Runner's Recovery Diary : Day 41

Like many fellow women runners, Heather and I check in on each other by phone about once a week. We have this long-distance running partner thing going.

Having vowed to run the LA Marathon together in May, we’re constantly keeping tabs on our respective training.  Heather entrances me with her accounts of 16 mile beach runs while I fill her in on my big recovery victories (running 30 minutes without pain).  I assure her that I will recover and by the end of January, be completely healed in time for the start of serious training about 18 weeks before the race.  She encourages me, listens to my woes and generally supports me as I go through this frustrating time.  Right now though, I am beginning to doubt my own optimism.

Having felt pretty good ten days ago, I decided to begin inching up my running time (I’m not even paying attention to mileage at this point)…one minute, two, ten.  I’ve been leaving the iPod at home so that I can connect with my form, pace and breathing, and I keep a close eye on my watch to see when I begin experiencing knee pain, the level of the pain, and when I simply have to stop.  Last week I managed to get to about 32 minutes completely pain free, but this morning, I made it only 28 minutes before severe pain was shooting through my knee.  I never did lock up – but I had to walk the final quarter mile.  Now, I am getting weird muscle spasms in my knee that cause my leg to buckle. One step forward, two steps back.

Heather definitely senses my frustration.  She too it seems is now suffering from intermittent severe pain that emanates from her back and down into her leg, completely numbing it.  It hits her around mile 6 – forcing her to walk in pain.  She’s only been running distance a short while, but she definitely gets the complete disappointment at not being able to make her body do what her heart and head want it to. Sciatica from overtraining – too much mileage too soon before her muscular and skeletal systems can adjust. This running thing is tricky.

I woke up at about 5:00 AM full of anxiety.  Maybe I should just stop running completely until springtime.  Maybe the best thing to do is just admit defeat and give my injury complete rest and time to heal.  Maybe I should give up the idea of running the marathon.  It seems like every time I plan to do it, something happens to stop me.  Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something. The thought gave me palpitations.  I just can’t fathom what it would be like at this point to store my running shoes in the back of the closet.  How will I deal with this?

I’ve got to make a decision, and I really don't want to let Heather (or myself) down.

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