Bury My Heart at Mile 7

I've got to be honest with you.  I am even getting sick of hearing myself whine about this ITB injury, so I can only imagine what you must be thinking.  I think it must be the suffering artist side of me coming out, but lately I have been trolling all of the running blogs I can find for glorious stories of long training runs and turkey trots and pre-dawn revelations while wearing headlamps. Its torture I tell you, pure torture.

Today I mustered 2 miles at a slow 12:00 minute pace on the treadmill before pain in my knee started up and I actually felt somewhat victorious.  How sad is that?  In a conversation thread with another runner suffering as I am now, I dared utter the four-letter word REST and the entire board went wild.  No one wants to cancel a long planned for race or miss her afternoon "moving therapy" with her running buddy.  Yet sometimes, sometimes the dreaded rest (or at least slow recuperation) is the only way.  

Tonight I am feeling so depressed, there are no words to express it.  It feels as though I am never going to be able to run long again and these (unreasonable?) thoughts are driving me out of my mind.  Does anyone else ever feel like this?  I have read a lot about the psychological effects of injury, and I know that feeling depressed and having unreasonable fears is all part of working through this, but somehow I can't seem to control my angst.  

Don't get me wrong.  I love my trainer and she is doing wonders with me in terms of getting me into training that will improve my core strength, strengthen my hamstrings, glutes, etc.  But I AM A RUNNER!  I have to run. AUAUAGH!

Can anyone help me?

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